What it says about you if you use the word fag a lot:
• You are in prison, in the Klan, or a member of a quickly retreating racial/religious majority in a nation that's losing its global mojo, and the only thing that makes you more uncomfortable than thinking about black people getting government money is Neil Patrick Harris.
GAYWARD:
Reasons someone might be calling you a gayward:
• You just told someone at work how to "pull off" white jeans.
GAYLORD:
Reasons someone might be calling you a gaylord:
• You turn to him on the beach, put the Nerf down, and say, "Hey, do I look more ripped to you these days or less? Be honest."
QUEER:
What it says about you if you use the word queer a lot:
You are George W. Bush, and Karl Rove has just thrown a ball to you.
Reasons someone might be calling you queer:
• Your DVR is full because you refuse to delete old Glee episodes.
QUEEN:
What it says about you if you use the word queen a lot:
• You wear a polka-dot apron for spring cleaning and feel oddly hopeful all afternoon while you vacuum—only to weep all night into your gin.
My 10 Favorite Homophobic Words That I Just Made Up by Morgan Murphy, comedian:
1. Taint Bernard
2. Mister Furley
3. Lady Guyguy
4. Puddin' Popper
5. Backdoora the Explora
6. Gibbler
7. Fanny Packy-Ow!
8. Brunch Burrito
9. Utility Player
10. Gary
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