Since we're on the subject of facial hair...

COOL OR TOOL?: THE GOATEE

Once or twice a year, often after an extended vacation, the average adult male is confronted with a face full of scruff and a choice. Nine times out of ten he dutifully reaches for a razor and removes the growth, but every now and then he is unable to resist the temptation to get creative with the shaggy canvas before him. It's at this crucial moment that bad grooming decisions are made—and lives destroyed. The options open to him are many, but few are safe. The mustache, even in ironic form, is fraught with peril—yet still classic enough to work under the right conditions. And though carving out a beard might be a hipster trend, it's hard to argue with a style that makes you look like a man.

Then there's the shaving detour that, if not navigated with pinpoint precision, can lead to disaster. The goatee comes in many forms—the French fork, the musketeer, the Vandyke—but none are easy to pull off. The failed effort is to the face what the clip-on cell-phone holster is to the belt, and is often accompanied by electric-blue neoprene sunglass straps (perhaps the only time such an accessory is a welcome distraction). The bad goatee is worn by the guy who served you at the big-box electronics store, or by beefy men who carry clipboards that match their polo shirts. If it had a soundtrack, it would feature generic mid-nineties guitar rock.

If employed correctly, however, the goatee can offer the illusion of length to men with round faces, or bring strength to a weak chin. For others, it's a natural extension of their identity, a nice complement to a tracksuit or—in the case of salt-and-pepper goatees—a shiny double-breasted jacket. There are successes, but beyond the Central Casting clichés, spotting a successful goatee in the wild is not unlike coming across the elusive Sasquatch. It's all a bit blurry—was it a shadow, a hairy mess, your imagination?

-Details Magazine.

Facial Hair, by A. Munro

Ahh facial hair….the sole male accessory that cannot be duplicated by the opposite sex. It can create an allure of mystery and confidence, confirm one’s status as the alpha male and even entice an unsure prey…all without a single uttered word. Legends have been told about a perfect 4 o’clock shadow and careers made on perfecting the male goatee. Like with most accessories, this look is easier for boys naturally endowed with the powers of cool. However, a well groomed, not overly designed, hair creation can recapitulate your look and enhance all those traits you secretly want people to notice. When we see a slightly disheveled boy walk in his scruff lets us know he was too preoccupied to shave…did he spend his night creating art and was so enthralled that earthly grooming customs did not apply? Was a certain femme fatale responsible for his appearance after a night of mind-blowing sex? The possibilities are endless but the guaranteed result is a uniform interest in the boy in question. And, of course, there are also the unquestionable references to James Bond, Jack Sparrow and tormented rock star that may score you a stone cold 9. The point is every boy should try this look at least once in their life…you will not be disappointed with what you discover.





However, a few pieces of advice. The soul patch is NOT ok. EVER. Neither are flesh colored beards. Also avoid anything that may be misconstrued as pubes on your face. If we wanted to make out with a cooter we would date a girl. You’re welcome. :)