"Don't" -the first installment, by A. Munro

It is one thing to walk into a club and see dozens of metro’d out boys in their ironed Affliction shirts and white stitched True Religion’s but it takes a special kind of douche-bag to break out the white leather shoes.They are always at least two sizes too big (insert own “over-compe...nsation” joke here) and made of some endangered animal. Forget the fact that this dick has been directly responsible for the slaughter of a sweet little alligator that would have looked much better as a purse for us. No, what’s most insulting is that he is so confident that every girl will beg to be his one-night concubine that he dons these atrocities with a casual candor that begs to be stabbed in the eye with a stiletto.